


human

by sleepdeprived_uwu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Family Issues, Like Very Brief, Mark - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Other, also very brief, brief talks of depression, first work let's get it, idek what that is, idk how to tag, mark lee - Freeform, not idol life, oh and anxiety, short lil oneshot, slight reference to kidnapping (?), slight reference to suicide (?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 17:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepdeprived_uwu/pseuds/sleepdeprived_uwu
Summary: “i’ll be dead before dawn,” mark murmured, pondering whether it would really be better to enter the house, or just run away back towards the delicate fantasies and visions that were most desirable for the luring night.well, it wouldn’t hurt.
Kudos: 1





	human

"I love you," a statement that mark couldn't find in himself to repeat. no matter how much he wished to, or for so long he hoped to say. the words were never able to formulate out of his mouth.

the man grasped at his draping coat, taking in the city lights, wondering if such beauties could be everlasting. if they had the possibility of becoming the awakening of reality.

the swift wind blew, carrying the delicate falling of the leaves in the direction of the standing man. the man at the edge of a cliff. 

his breath making brief appearances as he surveyed the horizon and all there was to see, mark let a shallow chuckle escape from his mouth. one that sounded so harsh yet fragile. like a whisper of air taking its moments past the most desired ones.

placing his hands in his pockets, the raven haired man slowly began to sit down, as the sun had started to make its way for its counterpart, the moon. 

the dainty and almost elegant movements of the star seemed to illuminate itself as it faded momentarily from reality. its yellowish tang allowing for a warm and heart-felt moment.

mark watched in repeated awe as the sun finally faded from view and the gleam of moonlight seemed to gradually seem in, taking full admiration and control of its power.

_it's good to see some beautiful things in life. even if it won't last long._

the faint appearance of stars, hidden by the still gleaming lights of civilization, showed endless possibilities. it's millions of constellations each aligning itself with one another to create for the ultimate artistry of life itself. with no boundaries to limit such art in its finest form, it should be admired for as long as one lives. mark found it in himself to take that opportunity. nobody else would.

a moment of brief euphoria. a moment of the needed silence. a moment of yearned peace.

all of those things seemed to never happen to him. even when he tried his hardest and did his best, something always appeared to go wrong. as if he was just meant to be a failure; just another person.

it was in times like this that mark felt the most in touch with the world, regardless of its billions of inhabitants. it was an actual time in which he could express the emotions that had been bottled up within himself. it was a chance for him to break free. even if it was for just a split moment.

mark shook his head, remembering how his day had gone by. not too dull; not so enjoyable. but alas, what else could he expect. it wasn't even the whole ordeal of him not enjoying company, but just the absurd inability to fully take into the perspective of it.

blame his crippling depression and that’d be hitting the nail right on the head.

it was something that seemed to just want to pop in and decide to ruin his life at the worst times. the extra pressure of school didn't help to ease the stress and on growing anxiety growing within himself. but he wouldn't let anyone know. they were all worried with their own personal problems. they didn't need the extra burden of him on their shoulders.

those days, especially, were the roughest.

and though he knew that donghyuck, jaemin and chenle were there for him, he couldn't help but doubt whether they really cared about him, or just pitied him. donghyuck especially.

letting loose another low, deserted chuckle, mark took one last look at the sky before proceeding to stand up. it was getting quite late and, just like the idiot he was, he forgot to bring his phone along with him.

who knows, maybe he'll be kidnapped and never seen again. or maybe he'll "accidentally" fall to his death and his body would never be found.

pushing those thoughts away, mark pulled the hat portion of his coat over his head. it was getting quite cold for it to be considered autumn, but that couldn't be blamed as winter was just right around the corner; quite literally.

shivering at the decreased temperature change, the boy paced his steps, retracing back in the direction that he had grown to become accustomed to after thousands of time spent there. the soft crunches of leaves on the earthy ground made itself more prominent in the silent journey back home. almost as if it was a metronome, sounding at a set pace, mark slowed down his steps a bit, as to make the tempo just slightly irregular before it continued back at its constant crunching.

there wasn't much to observe through the make way of trees as mark ventured out of his little hideout area. mostly filled with long, overlooking trees, with their mighty branches, nothing interesting seemed to blossom out from such. 

it was about seven minutes until mark had reached his house which, contrary to the leading exterior of his house, was quite contemporary and traditional. its door frame, which helped to conceal both a sense of danger yet feeling of impulse within himself, was of the most protruding factor.

the early decorations labeling christmas seemed to be very prominently apparent as mistletoe lay around the property of mark's house. the front door, laced up and decorated to look like some sort of present, had huge nutcrackers at the ends of each of its sides. those were creepy, no matter how many years he had to deal within their ominous gazes. the rest of the house seemed to be of lights and wreaths, both combined in order to result in an odd, yet appreciable form of support in the christmas and winter season.

even the large christmas tree in the front of his house had lights on it, though the first snowfall still hadn't taken place. it was unexpected of course, as previous years held snowfalls almost a month before the official announcement of winter. this year, though it was obvious that such occurrences had happened before, was still of a moderate shock to all. a pleasant one indeed.

mark once more took a look over at the sight that had become familiar to see, the bright lights illuminating the whole area to be covered. there would be much explaining for him to give his parents as to why he stayed away for so long and had come back at a time that seemed to be close to midnight. 

his parents knew about where he would head off to, but didn’t put much thought into it, deeming their son responsible to take care of his own actions. he was old enough, so there was no use in trying to deter him from going to a repeated place. in other words, they didn’t care, so long as he return back at a certain time. and that certain time was most certainly overdue.

that factor alone, with the time in him returning back home, was enough to scare mark shitless, but there was no one to blame. no one except for himself.

“i’ll be dead before dawn,” mark murmured, pondering whether it would really be better to enter the house, or just run away back towards the delicate fantasies and visions that were most desirable for the luring night. 

_well, it wouldn’t hurt._

  
  


**\----**

mark took a slight breath, preparing for the worst for when he entered inside his house the following morning. maybe his parents would be sleeping; maybe they’d be too worried about his safety to get mad; maybe they’d be all around town calling the police.

the latter went up to the small porch that inhabited the front of the house before slowly drawing his keys from his pockets. having stayed up throughout the remainder of the night, the sleep-deprived boy lazily inserted the key into the space provided, twisted it gently, and pushed forward. 

all of the lights were still off. that was a good thing. a really good one.

closing the door with nothing more than a faint thud, mark slowly switched on the lights of the entrance to allow for sight in where he would be heading to. the last thing he needed was colliding with an unknown object and his parents waking up from it. 

mark squinted slightly, in efforts to become more familiar with the sudden change in lighting that had just occurred before sluggedly taking off the large coat he had been wearing. its heavy material had just been getting to the point of uncomfortability. 

silent thoughts as to where he had been for that duration of the night resurfaced upon the boy’s face as he forcefully pushed them away in efforts of forgetting the activities that he had been involved with. activities that, if known by his parents, would be looked upon as indescribably unacceptable. things that he hoped he could get rid of, for the sake of his safety, but was never able to. 

though the boy felt like he would pass out at any moment from the lack of sleep he had received, he gradually made his way from his still stanture and slowly laid step upon step, careful not to make any noises while heading up.

going towards the room labeled as his, the boy felt for the door handle, being enclosed in a dark atmosphere. 

_they were here._

mark hesitantly made his way inside the room with open doors, making sure to turn on the light switch to see better, before scanning the area for any differences to be found. 

a letter.

inscribed with immaculately elegant handwriting, mark immediately recognized it as his parents’.

silently making his way towards the rectangular-shaped inscription, mark hesitantly opened it, nervous of the reactions from his parents. he knew they would be mad, and it was understandable, given the situation that they were put in, but nevertheless, mark was tentative to face the consequences.

**_minhyung,_ **

**_by the time you come back to the place called home, we will have already left for work. it's a great disappointment to find out that our own son would be so irresponsible to the point in which he would not even return home._ **

**_think about the worry that had formed within us, waiting until nearly three am for you to come back, only to find that you would only be returning in the hours of morning. leaving without your phone, off all things; another worrying factor that only aided in our distress. there is no excuse as to why a child would not return back to the place that allows for a roof under their head because of their own silly conscious. whether you have a presentable reason as to why you did this, or not, there is no disregarding that what you did was wrong._ **

**_we’ll be having a more lengthened talk when we return, but as a consequence of your poor actions as choices, your phone has been prohibited. if you can’t remember to bring it while you are out and are fine with it, then you don’t deserve to have it at all._ **

**_-mom, dad_ **

the fatigue that seemed to inhabit within mark had vanished drastically, his mood seemingly worsening as he read through the entirety of the letter. not only had he been addressed as ‘minhyung’, which was an immediate sign that he was in more trouble than he thought, but he had to go through the rest of the day in worry of what might await him when his parents were to return from their job.

a list of possible punishments formulating within the mind of him as he became increasingly paranoid as to what his parents might ask him and what they might do to him if he provides an incorrect response. 

that thought alone was more than enough to allow for mark to take several breaths in attempts of calming himself from the impending doom that would be magnifying throughout the course of his, now ruined, day.

_and it was, just as everything was, his fault._

**Author's Note:**

> so idk what i just wrote but at least it's something right...anyways i'll probably write some short oneshots when i get the time since ik i won't commit to a full story with school rn
> 
> peace


End file.
